1. Be quick to decide
Practice being assertive by being quick to decide in your everyday decisions. Know what you want to order at the cafe and the restaurant. If your spouse asks Where do you want to eat tonight?answer quickly, assertively, and be happy with that answer.
As you’re able to decide more quickly with regards to the small decisions in your life, you’ll see that carry over to the bigger decisions. Decide quickly and with a purpose behind your decisions.
2. Have a clear vision of what you want
Every year I write down my ideal day. I’m ruthlessly detailed down to the smells I smell, the thoughts in my mind as I wake up, and the bed I wake up in – even the dream girl I wake up next to.
You have to know what your “ideals” are in every aspect of your life. This is your deepest, most meaningful desire and want. This is what will make you truly happy. This ideal day, if it could be lived everyday for the rest of your life, will let you live a life completely without regret.
Having a clear vision of what your soul wants is important. This may be a fast car, or it may not be. Get deep, down, and honest with yourself. What we truly want in life gets lost in what our friends want, or what we think we want.
Finding clarity will help you act more assertively.
3. Have a clear vision of what you expect
Don’t merely set goals, set expectations. Expectations are far more powerful than goals that can be seen as pipe dreams and lofty wishes. What you expect of yourself is who you are. If you fail to adhere to your expectations, you fail to be the person you’re trying to be.
Do you expect yourself to write 5 articles a day, close 5 clients, or do one thing you’re scared to death of doing?
Your expectations should line up with your ideal day. There is, however, a catch. Don’t expect things that you can accomplish with ease. Expect bigger, more audacious accomplishments. Be the person you want to become, don’t wait for life to give you permission.
If you expect greater things from yourself, you’ll have more confidence to be more assertive and to take bold actions towards your goals.
4. Actively face your fears
Fear and assertiveness oppose each other. You can’t be timid and afraid and assertive. The two simply don’t mesh.
Identify what your comfort zone is.
Success – and life – exists outside of your comfort zone, but few are actually able to recognize their comfort zone because they’ve lived within it their entire lives. Write down everything that is your comfort zone.
What makes you feel safe?
Is it only taking on small projects that you know you can accomplish? Is it only calling on small clients that you know you can close? Is your comfort zone a geographical location, do you need to travel alone to break free of your comfort zone?
Write it down, then write down everything that opposes your comfort zone; your fears. These are what you should follow in life. Your fears, those things just out of your grasp, just beyond where your comforts lie, is where you’ll find life, and success.
The more fears you face, the more courage you’ll possess. Courage and assertiveness do mesh. They complement one another. As you become more courageous (because of practiced action), the more assertive you’ll become even with those things in life that scare you to death.
5. Act
“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
Far too many deliberate when they should act. Thoughtful people are praised far too greatly in our society, when it’s those who act quickly that achieve the greatest things.
People don’t follow titles, they follow courage.
Have the courage to take action when you want to continue to plan and avoid the actions you want to take. It’s in action that we become more assertive. It’s in becoming more assertive that we find success, meaning, and happiness in life.
“Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant.” – Tony Robbins
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